Hello and welcome to the Your Revolution podcast. The Your Revolution podcast is a collaboration between Revolution, Personal and Performance Training in Melbourne and the May Project. The purpose of the Your Revolution podcast is to inspire you on your mission of betterment. Each week on the podcast you’ll make game changes who have created extraordinary lives and you’ll listen to stories and lessons to empower you to make the changes necessary to your life. The Your Revolution podcast is committed to fitness, health, nutrition, mindset, community, education, empowerment and betterment and we hope that you can take what you learn here and apply it to your very own revolution.

or if you feel a little like a hamster in a wheel and are constantly chasing your tail, or if you just feel a little bit overwhelmed with where you’re going with your life, then the ME project can work with you to help you figure that out. For a free consultation with absolutely no obligation, please get in touch with me now. I work with only five people at a time and spaces are opening up in the next couple of weeks. au or you can find me on Instagram at Your Revolution podcast. My name’s Jane Erbacher and I’m your host.

I’m so excited. My voice just changed and didn’t it? I just went from like blah blah blah to like radio voice. I’m so excited because I’m sitting here next to one of my like one of my favorite people in the whole world and really good friends. Aliza. – Hashi. – Hashi. – And I got a little like description, visual description of how to pronounce her surname. – Hashi. – Yeah, I love it. And that’s really funny because I’ve said your surname here two times and I’ve said it exactly like that. So I should not have had it like, know I shouldn’t have done myself.

I mean I should not. Let’s just tell everyone is German yes, so you have a German name. Eliza is one of my really really good friends and it’s funny because I reckon it was two weeks ago asked you to be on the podcast and my main reason for actually asking you to be on the podcast was because you came and trained with me two years ago, I reckon, after we met. So you worked for Hamish and Andy. And after we met, because Hamish made me do this terrible thing when I was his trainer, which was, he wrote a marathon, a full marathon, 42 kilometers on the rower, because him and Andy were talking about it and Andy didn’t think he could do it So Hamish said yes, I can and ended up raising over $40,000 for the summer first.

Yep, and I was a support crew. I did it take him in there. Two hours 58. I’ve never forgotten That’s keeping a 205 average for those of you who know about the roller which you do for 42 guys Anyway, I did half the distance to him and I nearly cried for the whole situation It was terrible and poor Hamish had to cheer for me. So it’s a terrible support crew. I’m never gonna get a call back But we then went over there. Oh, so the rest of us were just standing around watching. I know cheering cheering for like I got kind of boring in the middle for you guys are again But then we really got to know each other afterwards because we went to a Melbourne institution yes bells hot chicken You would you had just done a half marathon.

I think I think yes, it was around then yeah, which is just ridiculous for me. – I know. – And we’re gonna talk about that. So I’ve gone around around around. But this is when I met you. This is the day I met you over fried chicken. Fried chicken that I was like, I can’t eat all this fried chicken and wash it waffles. And next minute like my plate’s empty. I was like, is that it? It was the best. It was so good. So that’s what I met you at my first thing that drew me to you had to be your sparkly eyes. I’ve never seen, you can’t see this through the podcast.

I know, but you have like these eyes that like sparkle and it’s not just because they’re like, actually pretty eyes. You’ve got like life behind them. I know. And then after that, you started coming to train with me at my old gym and which was huge. Cause I’d never done PT before and I always avoid it. And you didn’t like it? ” Yeah, it was with my sister and she really pushed me. She was strong, too. Right. And now I look at you. Now you train at Revo and you’re there nearly every night and you are a weapon and you love exercise.

I still remember the like gym award. I remember the month. You know it. It is kind of a new award though. I think we’ve given out three maybe. I don’t want to win it just because I’m complaining biota. You’ve definitely been on the nomination list a few times. Well, it’s because I reckon the reason that you haven’t won it yet is because you’re only ever in Darren’s classes. I can’t betray and just don’t see you. But I see you and I know you. And anyway, the reason I asked you to be on the podcast was really interesting because I wanted to talk about your fitness transformation.

So from somebody who was really, really nervous to go into a gym and do personal training to now somebody who’s there pretty much every day and really fit. And I wanted to talk to you about that because the whole Your Revolution podcast is about change and inspiring change and talking to people who have done something in their life that was hard for them and hopefully that inspires that change in somebody else who’s listening. , well when you asked me, you didn’t know any of my back story. You just kind of wanted, you just came up and you’re like, you should get one because I just like how you transformed from when you first kind of started in terms of attitude and fitness and stuff.

And I like when I went away, they got really emotional. I just doesn’t know anything about me but she just likes to, like she’s just like, she’s just like, You? – Yeah, exactly. ” – Oh. – It’s like, you just wait. – Yeah. – But then I messaged him and I’m like, “First of all, I’m so honored. ” And I’m so excited, ’cause I’m in a place where I do want to start talking about my background. – I love it. I’m so excited. This is going to be really, really interesting. Today’s podcast and everyone is going to learn so much.

People won’t understand that. I’ll talk about you. you do it with such positivity and passion that it brightens everybody else up and it’s like that’s what changes the world. Like actually doing that with day-to-day interactions and so that was the other reason I wanted you on here so I wanted it because of your attitude to fitness but also because I kind of wanted to see where that came from and I guess that is what we’re going to find out today. So what is your favorite quote so we can kick off? Okay so this is more for me a survival one rather than a motivational one.

It’s this two shell pass, which is something that I just say when I’m feeling overwhelmed because as I’ll talk about, it’s all about just keeping your head off water. So I’m just like when things are getting too out of control, I’m just like come on, you know, these two shells. Like it’s all gonna go away just one foot in front of the other kind of thing. So yeah, my story’s all yet about survival kind of thing rather than like motivation or kind of stuff. Totally. But yeah, that works for me. But also a fun one. Don’t you wish you were as fat as the first time you thought you were fat?

I’m like, oh my God, it’s so true. I I’m like God I’m a cuter than you guys are. I know, I know, that’s so funny. I bloody love it. No, but this is exactly kind of what our relationship is. It’s from one to the next straightaway. But this two-shell pass is perfect. And it’s so true. And Darren actually said something. Darren, you better be listening to this podcast. Hello. From Revo, one of the trainers at Revo, who’s just amazing. And we love him. I heard him say something to the class and it was kind of along those lines, like this two-shell pass.

He the pain in your legs will go over after five minutes but the pain of disappointment will last you the rest of the week. And I was like, and he said that in my class. I was there and I was blue like I’m just gonna get a pen and I’m gonna steal it and I’m gonna post it Instagram. And that’s kind of the same thing this two-shell pass because it’s true like grief, sadness, pain, suffering will stay for as long as we allow it to stay. But it all seems so intense in the moment but like when you take yourself away from it, it does pass.

So amazing. It’s so true. Okay so with no further ado, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I’m so excited as you can all hear. We’re really excited. So Eliza do you want to give us a little bit of an intro to you? Well, so I’m 30 now. ” I’m so scary because I feel 23. Yeah, but 30 is better than 29. 29 is like freak out, you know? You’re like up there. Everyone’s asking me questions. And because I was kind of a late bloomer like Ichos. You do look like you’re being said before. I love it. I used to hate being asked for a day and I get really offended now if I don’t.

That’s so funny. But yeah, it was quite sensible and this is what I’ll talk about. There was a reason why I was so sensible growing up. And it wasn’t until I moved I moved to Melbourne some originally from Adelaide when I was 23 that I started just letting loose and not carrying what people think and stuff. Yeah. Because that just drove my life. So yeah I am an Adelaideian born and bred that’s where all my family has examined my sister who’s here. I moved over to Melbourne when I was 23. Didn’t really know anyone but I needed a change.

All my friends and family and my friends were getting married having babies, buying houses. Wow, that’s my home. That’s my home town. I got a lot of genuine people in my year now have three children. I just, yeah, I just, I can’t. Man, I still have trouble tying up my shoelaces. I know, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in a tight, I’m in, yeah, I just, I can’t.

– Man, I like still have trouble tying up my shoelaces. – I know, yeah. – Pissed out his achievement. – Yeah, I’m getting someone else dressed. – I know. – Anyway, so, yeah, and also career-wise. So I studied journalism, and then I was sort of working in PR and events in Adelaide, and then I was like, okay, I want to get into working to radio, and there just a big bigger world in Melbourne. But so I went to an all-girls school in Adelaide. I had amazing friends. I have the most amazing family. I did well at school.

Everything was right for me. There was no reason that I shouldn’t have been the happiest luckiest person in the world. But I had when I finished uni, I guess what I call, yeah, I go so far as to say like a bit of a breakdown. And when you talk it through with psychologists and stuff like that, stuff starts to add up from your past. So I went through school and then I went through uni and then I had stopped because my whole life had been like planned for me. You know, school, you know, where you’re going to be the next year, you know, what you’re doing.

It’s all in front of you. Like this is what you’re going to do today. Same with uni with journalism. I knew I had threes of that. And when that all stopped and I was like, I have to make my own decisions now what I want, what I want to do with my life. That’s when I started to kind of implode. And I developed like severe anxiety and as a result of that depression. And the anxiety part of it was actually social anxiety. So I’m a huge perfectionist and you find talking to people that it is those types it’s like really super strong people who just strive to be the absolute best 24/7 that the ones that just have these issues because you’re just always in your head and you’re just always down on yourself and something doesn’t go right so I just just always wanted the best grades.

I always wanted to be the best at everything and I always wanted to make my family proud and it just got to a point where that turned from perfectionism to, I guess, like, over-analyzing and having meltdowns and it just became all too overwhelming. So it actually started with, I was on my way in Adelaide, something you do socially, you go to the cricket, and by that I mean you stand out the vacuum, the pins tend, and then the girls do get a drink, and then they’ll always go on and watch the cricket. – I would not be watching any cricket, so that’s better for me.

” Another penis, please. Anyway, I was on the way to the cricket. My mom was driving me and I was like, “Mom, can you pull over? ” And I rang my dad who’s actually a doctor. ” It was every time I was out or on my way out that I just had these attacks and it showed itself in physical sickness, which is just, it’s crazy how mind works. To be physically ill and me being like that’s my brain doing that. It’s so nervous about the situation and it’s like I try and explain it like it’s when someone might be doing a speech and you nervous and you get butterflies and you shake.

It’s like times a hundred. Your body just shuts down and you can’t keep it. And you get like cold and goosebumps and like hot at the same time. It’s incredible that you get such a physical response, isn’t it? And when you actually pay attention to it, because that’s the thing, like you just saying that now has made me realise, yeah, your body does have such a huge physical response. And also that I wasn’t understanding that my like, I wasn’t seeing how I was getting to that point. Like, I couldn’t understand the triggers I couldn’t control them.

– Totally. – Well, but there was a pattern. – Yeah, and so when it came out, it was, I was too far gone. – Yeah, totally. – So I had to learn how to identify when it was coming on and you know, be like, okay, I’m gonna be in this situation. ” So yeah, so I worked out that I put such, I was in a place where I put such a big emphasis on what I looked like, how I came across to people. When I was out, I always wanted to be like, the funniest, coolest, funniest, like look the best. It was just so important to me. That putting that pressure on myself made for that I would have milked downs when I knew what I was going to do with that situation.

And I think that was that late as well, like small town. Everyone knows everyone’s so much gossip. So I, leading up to that, as I was saying to you, like I was a late boomer, I went to parties and stuff and I’d be the one that wasn’t drinking I would be looking after my friends holding their back and I would be like the fear of embarrassing myself like these people would be out of control was just too much for me and that stuff I worked out later in life when I finished uni I looked back and I was like so that’s why at parties at schools and stuff I stood back and I was really controlled and you know like don’t do anything we not in total control of the situation which is God forbid I embarrass myself.

Being gossiped about and being embarrassed was my greatest fear and I just gradually like the fears just took over and just became this actual incongrelable anxiety. So I’m sorry, I’m just like, this is the greatest. I’m like, no, I’m really, really, really interested in this. – So it’s just incredible to think about, reflecting, ’cause I’m in our position where I want, that’s why I’m so excited when you ask me about this, ’cause this happened 10 years ago and I’ve never if you like it. And I’m so happy to talk to people about it.

One on one or whatever. But I’m now in a position with work and in my personal life and in terms of age that I really want to do something with it. And I feel so confident in comfortable talking about it because I’m not embarrassed about it. And you shouldn’t be. And this is the interesting thing that we were talking about when you actually told me that you’d suffered from anxiety and depression Yeah, I was saying how it’s such a shame that it’s still so taboo Yeah, so many people still don’t want to talk about it and then I guess the angle that I come from I haven’t ever suffered from that and I’ve seen a lot of people close to me Yeah, but the angle that I come from in your life is that your mind and attitude can control everything and I with this it just demonstrates that physically you can shut down because of what’s going on in your brain and I don’t know why that’s so hard for us to accept and acknowledge and address and but people still feel ashamed of it and that’s so sad because it’s like people look at it and it’s like a weakness thing exactly I and I’m ashamed to ashamed to say this, but I actually think it’s part of my journey.

I looked at people like that before I’d been through this and I did see it as a weakness thing. So I, yeah, not at all. So I actually, I even saw, and like, I can’t leave, I’m saying this out loud and acknowledging this, but, you know, I had people who had eating disorders around me and mental illness issues and I would be like, and you know they’d have like me parents with doctors and blah blah blah and I’d be like, why aren’t parents doing something about this? Snap out of it. – This is the normal response because we don’t understand it and that’s the thing because people aren’t explaining it and it’s not in your face.

You don’t see a scar on somebody’s face or a broken arm or somebody vomiting or something. So you can’t understand it until someone explains it. And this is the power of empathy. Like this is what we need to build. We’ve forgotten what empathy is. We think that people are, and I did a podcast about choice last week, but we think people are choosing things like this and they have the ability to choose something else. But this is an instance where you’re not choosing it at all. It’s over the years, behavior and feelings and everything have like built up on each other and it’s completely out of control by then.

And that was the interesting thing that yours came from needing to be in control. You got to a point where you couldn’t be in control anymore. – Yeah, so like just constantly striving for perfection and being the best. And that’s like, and it’s weird to think that like because of that, I just lost complete control. – Yeah, it went the complete opposite to what you were wanting. – I was wanting to achieve. And it’s really been a learning thing for me trying to like be able to cope with the fact that I’m not perfect.

Sometimes you just gotta let it go. But just back to the stigma thing. So, stigma is a real issue and actually there’s 16 minutes of been doing a lot of stories. Yes. Depression and anxiety at the moment, which I love because it’s at an all time high like 10 year high, especially with men. And I think it’s all about this stigma and you just can’t be intimidated by the stigma. And I can fight it in a friend about doing this podcast and they were amazing when I was suffering, like in the depths of it all. And so I was actually really disappointed when I received the response from this person because they said, because I said, look, this is what I’m going to do.

I’m really excited about it. I knew I wanted to do something with my experiences and I feel like this is the first step for me. And, you know, it’s all about fighting this stigma because I think that’s where we’re going wrong. If people aren’t so worried about speaking about it, and if it doesn’t represent weakness, because if you get the right help, I genuinely believe that you can be saved. – 100%. – So the people aren’t speaking to people, people aren’t getting the right help, and that’s where we have suicide. – I completely agree with you.

– And just to throw a few quick stats out there, I was reading 45% of Australians will suffer a mental illness in their life. That’s half of us life and we all know somebody. We all know at least somebody. ” So it’s just, it’s, I’m going to look like there’s no one who doesn’t. And one of the most important turning points for you was support. Like so it’s like so feeling ashamed of it makes you and especially because it’s come from this need to be perfect then feeling ashamed of it It’s like it just tons of tons is it by 10?

And now you have so much that you can do with your experience. Absolutely. Another one is like in any one year 1 million Australian adults will be depressed and 2 million will have anxiety. And I’m like, that’s just huge numbers in any one year. And this is adults. It’s crazy. You know, teenage and stuff like that. But this message that I got from a friend, they were like, oh, you know, that’s awesome. You want to do something with your experiences, but just be wary of the stigma that you’re talking about. Because people might look at you differently when this comes out.

You need to be prepared. You may lose friends. Do your bosses know about this? What happens if it affects your future employment prospects? ” You were so supportive. And now you’re, and then meanwhile, and I know they’re just been concerned for me But I’m like that’s so sad exactly and I’m like that this is exactly why I need to do it exactly Yeah, that it will affect things. I’m like I would never have friends around me. No, who wouldn’t accept me totally I would never want to work in a workplace where it’s like oh 10 years ago you suffered this I know we don’t want you here.

Yeah, you’re so much more value to us. Then you’re open about it. To the world. Exactly. It’s funny that Dr. ” And that’s exactly, it’s like, if we still, it’s like, that is so old school that attitude though. It’s like racism. Like it’s like, you can’t be, you can’t hate on people because of their challenges. Like it’s like the craziest thing in the whole world. And that is what makes you stronger. Like this is what we’re talking about before it. Like with everybody. And the thing is what you’re doing by speaking out about it.

If somebody is listening to this and they’re feeling like that and they’re feeling like there’s something wrong with them and it tells it inspires them to speak to somebody about it and do something about it like that’s what is going to change the world. Yeah, like 100% yeah going back I really I so judged people before I went through it myself as I was saying to before like the whole thing about it and then when I went through it I was like, oh my god, I’m so embarrassed that I thought because it’s just so far beyond what you can control and yeah people get like and then speaking to people you know who suffer eating disorders and stuff they have voices in their head like it’s just so heavy.

– Yeah, no one chooses to have energy. No one chooses to have depression. No one chooses to have anxiety. – I actually think like in terms of people’s like the hardest looking back and reflecting, a lot of it, I do struggle to remember and I was questioned to my dad and he’s a doctor about it and he’s like, people do block a lot of the energy. – You a child? – Totally. and he turns these out of their heads. And I probably think that’s a good thing because, you know, and I can talk more about it, but it did actually get to a place where, a time where I physically couldn’t leave the house.

Because I couldn’t control it and I was so scared of an attack hitting me when I was out. And so, like, I, yeah, so I was, it took me a while to do shit on one of these people that I thought were weak. ” – Yeah, yes. – I love that saying. – That’s another good question. – Oh my God, I heard that on Oprah. – Yeah. – And you know better, you do better. – It’s just so true. – I’m like, yes. I accepting a crap I do in email and I did a combination of, yeah, seeing like a hub course, a psychiatrist and then like a psychologist who specialized in like meditation, hypnosis, breathing, again, all this stuff.

I was so skeptical about it. But I think he just gets a place to be like, oh my God, I just, anything, I’ll take it. This is my objective. – Yeah – You don’t feel like this anymore. – And now I’m at a point where I’m like, I would not change anything about any of it because I’m so self aware. I’m more empathetic as you’re saying. And I’m so much stronger. And I actually don’t think I would, because I moved to Melbourne after I went through all this. Not knowing anyone. And now I’m so proud of what I’m doing myself.

It’s just if I hadn’t been through that I don’t think I would have taken risks I had to learn how to not worry so much about what’s going to happen if it all goes wrong. I lived 20, 4, 7 in fear of embarrassment and it was when I was in the it, and like I had to start working back through everything, I think like a lot of my high school years, I used to love drama, I was really good at streaming and stuff, and I, you know, reflecting, I feel like slowly I just stopped doing all that. And it was because when I went to high school, I was so intimidated by the older students.

The thought of getting in my bed as a not doing the best and achieving the times that I was really proud of, like failing and just embracing myself. I was like, that’s, I can’t do it. And all kids, like ridiculing me. And drama, like getting up on a stage and when something goes wrong, what if I forget my lines my lines. It was just all too much. I slowly started taking myself. Like withdrawing. Yeah withdrawing. And I, and at the time I thought I was living a heavy fine normal life, but it’s really interesting when you look back and it all starts to add up.

Totally. R. Turkish History Entry School. Who would even know what their term is? I don’t remember. But it doesn’t mean anything. But life, that was my whole life, Gail of Lettuce. But then it wasn’t until I actually finished uni. As I said, I had to work out what I was going to do with my life for the first time. I had to figure that out on my own. And that’s when I think you start, I just had more spare time and I started overthinking everything. And so then I think it was like maybe a year over like a slow decline and maybe two years total from like a year of decline and then a year of like improvement until I was in a position that I could, you know, right now I’m ready to make big decisions and take control of my life and do things like that.

My 21st, I remember it was a big, like I was well again and I got the chance to say thank you to everyone and like I felt myself again. So yeah, where it got so bad is because I was getting these panic attacks when I was going out that and then I was like, oh my God, I can’t control them. So when I had to be like, okay, well I’m going out today, am I gonna get one? And so then the worry is more triggers. – Totally. – Trig is it. So yeah, it got to a point right before even really go to the grocery store because Being in that this is funny like it whole being a grocery store I’m like, oh my god, what if I’m holding groceries and it happens and everywhere I went so going to the grocery stores was one of my biggest like Excel sabotage.

Yeah, you’re like I can’t even go there Oh my God. Like, what if I’m caught and I haven’t gone through the register and everywhere I went, I had to make sure I had to work out where the bathroom, close the bathroom. Because I was like, if that happens, I need a rush and they must buy myself and I can’t control if I’m gonna be sick. – Oh my God, of course that would make you not wanna go anywhere. – Yeah, and like I just remember as well, like family dinners. I was, you know, trying, like I would not order food. Because I was like, I don’t know how, I feel sick.

I already feel sick, I can’t eat. And what if eating makes me feel sick? And so I would just go and sit there and then maybe take away food and either save my own home, eat. It’s just so, it’s just– – Isn’t it amazing that you have no idea that this is people’s story? – I know. – To think that I had no idea of this. It is unbelievable. It just shows how many people are probably going through this and don’t know how to talk to anybody about it. And the interesting thing is that I love this concept of vulnerability.

Like vulnerability being the greatest, the strongest you can be is demonstrating vulnerability. And I always talk about how the way that you actually connect with others and connect with yourself is by admitting that you’re not perfect, like that you’ve had these things happen. – That’s something what the biggest is. – That’s your greatest fear. And then it’s so interesting because from that, from not being perfect, from being vulnerable, you’re opening up an entire world for yourself. And the strength and resilience it takes to get through that is the, like what you should be most proud of, but never admitting that you’re vulnerable, never understanding the imperfection is perfect.

You never actually allow yourself to create resilience and see what you can put up with. – Well, you’re just never gonna take risks. – Yeah. – You’re never gonna try anything new. And I just just yeah, I took myself into a world where I was like the smallest safety like the hardest safety net. Yeah. And I had to work. Yeah, I had to work out how to start taking and how do you think you so you said you went to a psychiatrist and a psychologist who did meditation and kept no therapy, which I love hitting aotherapy um is that what got you through what do you think what got you through?

So everything it got it got to the point where I was too scared to go up because I couldn’t control these things and so um yeah I the fear of the embarrassment of having an attack is what came to me times. I then had to, yeah, my family are amazing, my friends are amazing, because my dad’s a doctor, I think I was really lucky. He knew exactly who I should say, got me an A-SAP. And what helped was not only with the full-on psychiatrist talking through everything and getting the logic and the science behind it all and you know putting the pieces of the puzzle from my past together but also then yes with this and I was like yeah, yeah, yeah… but the key to me was I think just calming my mind because I would, this is another thing, I would go out when I still go out and I would come home and lay in bed going to bed was my least favourite time of the day.

So I was alone and I had spare time and I was just with my mind. And I would lay awake for two hours every night going over every single movement of the night. What time or what I arrived what I was wearing who was there? I would go there every single conversation I had did I embarrass myself did I say something that would have been embarrassing on one else? Did I go too fast? I did work. They’re saying something behind my back. Did I have something in my teeth? Yeah, it was Oh my god. That is so exhausting exhausting and stressful.

I kind of had a hiring that would be a couldn’t stop thinking about it. I would even get my phone. This is how bad it was. ” If I was in that moment, I was like, “Oh my God, what just happened there? ” That’s when I start to get hit up. Yeah, because you’re like, oh my god, what did I say? You can think about it later. I’ll think about it later. Yeah. And it’ll all be okay. And you can do it with a later and let the mind is just going constantly. Oh my god. So it was really about learning how to skim my head on my mind.

Yeah. And that was with the hypnosis and the, I think the breathing as well is what helped me deal with the actual attacks. Yeah. So I yeah, I learned how to identify, which is that that was the biggest thing, trying to work out where it starts and where you can finish it before it gets to out of control. ” Don’t go there in a rush because that already sets your anxiety off. Take your time. Make sure you’ve got people around you come for a safe move. Breathe slowly if you feel it coming off. Don’t let it take you over.

If you have to go outside, go outside. Stuff like that. So just coping mechanisms and preparing preparation before you go out. Even if you’re sort of sneezing there for 10 minutes and can’t be mined. But I also had medication. So I know a lot of people are scared of that. And just this extreme overthinking mind, heart, everything got over 250%. And it just takes you back a step. If it had been a feeling of numbness where I could feel like I could show emotion or concentrate or whatever, I wouldn’t have done it. But it really just brought a sense of hope.

– Totally. – So I was so open for that, I’m just such an advocate for that if you need it. – Me too. – ‘Cause people just have the attitude of I don’t wanna medicate. – Totally. – Which I just don’t think is the right attitude. No. Anyway, each their own. So yeah, I and then now I’m still a still redistribut my anxiety. I’m always going to be an anxious person. But I think that’s can be a good thing if you’re I still obviously strive for perfection But I’ve learned to be realistic about that and my anxiety now works for the better like it’s good to be It’s good to make sure you do the best job and care and care but not in a super so critical way.

Yeah, yeah, um so have to make sure I monitor it and approach it has to be multifaceted. Yes to be every angle. Yeah, just like you would like very best from everybody. Everything is just unbelievable. But it’s just, I mean, if you have, I was just so lucky with the support. And I just think that’s key. But, and also, I was saying to you before this chat, and I’d love to, because I’ve told you this again, I want to now use this somehow, whether it’s like speaking in school, so I love public speaking, which is so funny, isn’t it?

Because I love the age of the past. – I love it, but it’s the rest. – I just love it. And I think it’s because I’m so proud of where I’ve come. And I was saying to you before, popularity was so important. And the kids I looked up to, I always wanted to be super popular. And so that’s what I always working on and I always you know looking at the most popular kids. Yeah, they’re doing the best things with their life. They’re all now like they’ve done nothing. Yeah, and you know, they might be happy. Yeah, but that’s yeah, they picked a nice school.

” I’m getting contacted by all these super popular people. “Oh my god, I’m so jealous of your life. You’ve done such amazing things. I don’t know. ” No, but it’s true. It’s like at the at school you strive for this. And then you go, “Is someone here to make this is how it’s going to work out. Totally. Karma’s excellent as well. I love Karma. Some bullies. Oh my god, bullying is just the most horrific thing I’ve used to go and I just would love to help change the world. I know and I think you’re going to. So I think a lot of that is sort of kids’ anxiety.

It’s pretty easy and disorders and stuff. – Yeah, so I had someone to say, like this is so not important. – Yeah. – Or can go on to cool things. – Totally. – With exactly what you have inside. – Yeah, so yeah, just in terms of then after when I moved here, I just had these new confidence and I actually got my first job. I had no radio experience. I worked in PR and events and stuff. Sorry if I’m jumping around. No, this is exactly what I was going to ask you. What happened when you moved to Melbourne? I was like, I knew that I actually, sorry, I hadn’t quite moved from Adelaide yet.

And I was like, I know I want to get into the radio. And I’d found a house, I was new, I was moving into it in like a month. And I was like crap, I’m going to have to I was applying for jobs on sea and stuff but having you know I’m living in that life so I can’t go over and do interviews at the moment and I’ve never worked in radio I’m I’m stuffed but what I actually did was I went on all these websites of these places I wanted to work like sporting clubs and radio estate well I’m sorry I just said I want to scan to radio.

I also really liked the idea of working communications and sporting clubs because I love the idea of a community. – And a team. – And a team. – Totally. – So anyway, I found out, like, you know, they released like admin people’s email addresses and like if you Google hard enough and if you go into media section and stuff, it has like the PR manager. So I was like, okay, I know what the email address is. I’m going to Google the CEO or like the program director of every place. What are their names? And then I’ve worked out what their email addresses are.

And I just emailed all these people direct. – That’s the best. – I don’t. And I was like, hi, I’m going to be in Melbourne at this time. We’re moving over for Adelaide. Here’s my CV. ” – Amazing. ” It was just, I want to have a chat with you. – And how confident is that? – Oh, wow. – I’ve never had a job, I’ve never got a job from applying for a job. It’s been me, like, instigating it. – Just reaching it. – And like, right place, right time. – Greatest. – So I have the best jobs. Like, it’s best jobs like it’s just the best because I’ve taken initiative so anyway then one so sean which is a sports radio station here there’s the program director um emailed me back and was like I’d love to have a chat with you come in so I went in and um and that just happens, we’ve got a sales coordinator job opening up and this is another thing that pisses me off.

People, they say, is coming out of schools. They aren’t prepared. We see work experience kids coming in and you’re like, can you grab a coffee? And they’re like, what? Exspares me. I’m going to get like, I’m going to be the next host to get away. That’s what you want to be. You have to work from the bottom of your lap. Totally. I was like, I don’t want to do this. This is not where I’m at. But I’ve got to get my foot in the door. So I did that. I was like, I need you to start Monday. I’m not moving here for another month, but I changed everything I moved over a week like me I’m awake.

Oh my god. Can you imagine from not even going to this market? Yeah, an anxious person is like we need you to move your whole life in a wake and start a whole new job in the state that you did it and My dad again my family was like, oh, this is gonna be an interesting journey because my mom’s the greatest and she you know Even my Pat lunches at school and stuff are amazing. She’s the absolute best She’s just like doing anything for us and you know, I think I was still not doing a whole other house Yes, you weren’t super independent.

She was still packing your lunch Never one day being my secret right down So this is my eighth year that I’ve been here. Wow But anyway then from that I did that for six months and then another radio station called Melbourne talk radio MTR opened up in the same doing which 18 months then closed But I was an assistant producer on that and that was a breakfast show hosted by Steve Price was on the project Yep, Sam Newman who’s Newman, who’s on the footy show, Jason Aquamanas, who just retired from footy at the time, and Andrew Baldwin in the journal.

And that was like an old man, I am a station, and I was this young girl, and it was like the greatest experience of my life. – Wow. – Just being a producer on that, and then that the later– – And having to hold your own in that group of men. – Oh my god, it was just– -, I’m so out of my depth. – Ask me any entertainment questions. – Yes. – I’ve got it nailed, but that kind of stuff. – Totally, my only general knowledge is paying out a pick a song within the first five seconds of a week. – Yeah. – That’s it, like.

– That’s the greatest category I that I’ve out there. – It makes your talent there on time and art to call during the show from this. ” And I’ve worked with all my strengths. And it helps. – And it helps that they’re like the two coolest people in the world. ” And they’re, yeah. I mean, you know, he’s really interesting. They’re the best people in the world and I’m sorry, like people always so disappointed when I say that. They’re like, please tell me that. – Something bad in that. All our team work has been working for them.

Like you will never get a job. – No, no one’s leaving that team. And Dave also let me be myself. ‘Cause like when this person said to me, “Don’t you know, damage in animal? ” Yeah. Yeah, like they’re amazing. And our team is all, our team is really more about personality fits. Yeah. Yeah. Like you skills. Oh, experienced skills. Exactly. No, but that’s so true. And that’s so much more important though. Like I was just listening to a podcast with the founder of SoulCycle and Tony Robbins and she was saying that that’s exactly it.

It’s like you can teach people the skills, but if they haven’t got the right attitude and the right passion and excitement and like zest for life. And that’s, it’s so interesting because that’s what drew me to you. And it’s amazing that that hasn’t always been how you felt. And I want to know what do you think we can do about this? And what do you think you can do about this? So for me, it’s like… So the reason, like, things are so out of control. The reason why suicide is so interesting is because it’s so insane.

Especially men, like I think I’ve read like eight people a day. It’s crazy. And to me, it just doesn’t need to happen. Like, okay, I just can’t strongly enough this way. I truly believe like 95% of people can be saved with the right health and some people. I don’t know if that’s me by naive and I was just really lucky with what? – No, okay. – With the combination of stuff I had. So the key is getting the right help now and also being open to being healed. So how we get to that point where people are getting help is if you’re acknowledging it and talking about it, you’ve got to forget that it’s about weakness.

I just can’t even tell you. I honestly believe 100% of the people that I’ve met who have, I want to ask other strongest people. I agree with you. What even is weakness? I feel like weakness is somebody who can’t handle hearing about somebody else’s story. That’s weakness. That’s weakness to me. People you won’t listen. I think people think weaknesses because I can’t control it. it totally and I’m a strong person. Why can’t I control it? Yeah, but then you put up this so much more Yeah, I can see like you’re carrying a heavier load.

Yeah, the opposite of weakness so It’s really and again, I think it’s a good like I see what I’ve been through as a gift because I know that I want to do something with this but not only that I wouldn’t have achieved what I have, I wouldn’t be where I am, I wouldn’t have the ability to get to know people and have amazing friends without all this and I’m really lucky that it happened when it happened because a lot of people are like CEOs and they’re going to come in and know it’s like how do you step away from that?

That’s also I think any show that you’re in a position where you’re like, how am I going to get help? I literally can’t stop. So one of the most important things is that people don’t feel alone. And actually knowledge. I know that this is what I’m going through. And that you’re not crazy. You’re not crazy. So, yeah, I think it’s catching it early when you start having these things, knowing it’s not weakness, knowing that you’d be surprised. If you are suffering something, because I know people as well have struggled with things and they’ve taken time off work and they’ve been so surprised about how supportive their workplace has been in their bosses.

And it’s just amazing how open and accepting people actually are. I think that’s half the problem as well. People are going to think this. People are going to judge me but they are just so young. And the thing is, the people who do, the people like the girl that sent you the text message, chances are she needs to be educated on this. She needs to see again how important it is for you to have the conversation about this. Again, this is where it goes back to the scary stuff with guys and the 16-minute stories. Save our sons and other there’s this guy, Jokey Woods, who used to play footy and he was in footy.

When you’re a manly man and I thought when stuff is so soft, I’m a beauty. I had a breakdown and he now goes around speaking to sporting songs and he he’s like guys I need you to know that like no matter how much on stuff you are Yeah, you like everyone is born like everyone is susceptible to these I think for guys because they’re like I can’t and you know I can’t find who do I have to talk to because my mates when I understand and I’m supposed to be strong in. So even if you just Google and read about it, take yourself to a GP as a first point because I always have people you can talk to.

– And listen to other people. – I’ve got an email, I’ve got internet recently and I was so stressed and overwhelmed and I plugged that in and listened. I had to work on that over analyzing it. I don’t struggle a lot with it now. I’m a lot better. But I think about why that is. ” I’m like like, okay, this is one of these times you’re overthinking it like I haven’t thought twice about it I think so it’s in the moment rather than at the end of the day being like, right? What happened today? I need to be ashamed of or worry about it or whatever.

Yeah, they just been realistic about that stuff and learning how to do that. But we just like thing like, oh listen to rainforest noises or anything in your face. Yeah. So that’s what’s coming in nice. It’s wonderful. But then I know I love talking to people. I think that you are so good at it as well because the thing that I’ve enjoyed so much about today is it’s so informal and casual and normal because it’s so normal. This is how people feel and something else that I think is really important that people sometimes feel unjustified in their like pain and suffering in this kind of thing.

Like what you said you’re like I’ve had such a great upbringing and amazing family like I had no reason for this but it came about yeah, and I think that it’s really important that people Understand that it doesn’t have to be from some sort of trauma in your life It’s just starts to happen and it and it comes like and and that’s I think why you’re such a good example of it Well, that that’s yeah and I think that’s like when you started to talk about that lady that police officer you know what they experienced and again even I thought come in my head I’m like I don’t have a right this one I don’t have a right to feel depressed or anxious and also you’ve got to be careful in terms of like with any disorder as an anxiety and stuff depression comes as a result of that.

Totally. It comes so to be able to eat. All connecting. Yeah. And depression can definitely come from grief and suffering and trauma. But it can come from an absence of that as well. Oh yeah. And it doesn’t mean that one is worth more than the other. And it just doesn’t discriminate. No. It doesn’t matter. Exactly. What you’ve been throwing you up. But yeah, even hearing that you’re in that swimming. I feel bad. No, but then I’m like no, it’s just and you didn’t choose it. Yeah, the opposite of what I want to do. Yeah, and it’s perfect life.

Yeah, perfect friends and there’s so many people that have had that too. Yeah, but what you’ve done that has set is you’ve chosen your path from there. And that’s where the interesting part, that’s where the difference is between people. And I think that that’s the people that we need to reach are on the edge of whether or not, like what to do. And I think that’s what you’re doing now. And I also want to say it’s not too like, as well, like, well, I think the key is earlier, early, like identification. It’s so not too late.

I think that the interesting thing with that is, and I was going to do a bit of a campaign on my Instagram this week about the importance of listening, like how important it is to actually listen. And I don’t know about you, but so often people ask you how you are. And it’s like, you’re not going to really answer on the days that you really crap. Well, you’re reflexes like, I finally, because you’re like, well, I use somebody I can trust and say it to you. And then there’s always that person who’s like you’re not gonna really answer on the days that you really crap.

” And then there’s always that person that’s always really bad, but they’re like not really bad. So a lot of people don’t listen. And I think that one of the key things with this isn’t just someone talking about it. The onus shouldn’t just be on that person, but the onus is on all of us to listen and to hear tell the difference. – Yeah. – And I still get the folks, like I don’t want anybody to think that I’m like, I’ve been through these and you’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don’t know if anybody who is Everything is perfect like as in like I never met anybody who like and I mean if you do meet somebody like that that actually is the Instagram account Yeah And everything’s perfect It can’t be real.

It’s not real life and the thing is and I think that we have to and that’s perfect. It can’t be real, it’s not real life. And I think that we have to, and that’s the interesting thing about the rise in social media is we do have this perception that everyone else’s life is perfect and we’re just constantly reminded that it’s not and that that’s okay. And that that’s a good thing. – We have to be so careful. – It’s just not the reality. – Totally. – It can be so beneficial in so many ways, but I also can just be. ” I know this is not the joy.

I went on a Tinder date once, everybody, before I was with Ronnie. And this guy told me three times in the date that I had bigger arms than him. So I don’t if he was looking at my filter. He kept saying it as if it was like compliment that I had big arms and I was like you’re like strong, but oh my god I know so guys on Tinder dates do not tell girls they’ve big arms Which big arms leads me to what role has fitness played? Yes, so I think a big thing, so I, as I mentioned before, I was a swimmer, I am a slowly cut myself out from all that.

And I have like a low regret. So that’s a, that’s a regret I have. But again, like it was all part of the journey. You can’t change anything else. Totally. The thing you have to come to terms with. Totally. You just, once you know better, you do better. Yeah. Exactly. So I, I just, the idea of, see, it’s totally I don’t know when I started PT with you I remember the greatest thing for me was like oh my god I’m gonna get to a point where I vomit and vomit and how embarrassing it is. You know I’d be like my proudest moment.

I’ve been so close with you. You’re the closest I’ve ever had. I’ve had a Hamish heaving in the gutter. I know. But another thing I hated was the reason for you to want hate sweating. Yeah, I think you’ve told me that before. I hate this vague memory. Maybe when you’re wearing like a Jane Fonda head. Yeah, I always wear hair pants and hats. It just catches all the dirt. Yeah. So I don’t necessarily wear red, but I will get real sweaty. Yeah. Going into the gym, 90% of the time now I wear active wear. That’s another thing I’ve come along by.

I never used to be caught in time. I thought you were active wearing a 30th? I thought it’s the greatest. I think it’s the greatest. It’s a bit of lulule. I’m thinking blue lulule. I’m going to be joking my team. I was playing today. I’m not actually wearing it. I know. You’re in a street where? My life. It’s just so complicated. I’m in active wear. I ate a donut and active wear the other day. I feel like, I feel like this is against the rules. Donut time. My face moments right now. I’m a contradiction. But yeah, so I, it’s just, it’s ridiculous.

All the things that you can get out of fitness, I was looking at the opposite. Yeah. should want to push yourself. You should want to feel sick. You should like when I sweat it all then. Like I love sweating. You’re a hot material. You’re a gross system. Not worrying about what I was all about. What do I look like? And I’m going to do this right and look stupid. And I think that’s a lot of my hair as well. Like I really poke fun in classes and now I’m do the classes. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid.

I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid.

I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid.

I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really stupid. I’m really I so I got yeah, I sort of got a point where I just didn’t really do anything but walking because that was the safest totally yeah, and then When I started to I started doing some PTU and I was like my little stuff’s getting old.

Yeah, I’m still alive. Yeah, I’ve lost any friends. Yeah, you made a new friend. Yeah. So then I was like, okay, I’m going to do an art marathon. And like, I’ve never, on a struggle, struggled to walk all that off the tan. I’ve never dropped and jogging. I love the idea of running. But again, I would never do it because I was like, what if I can’t do it? What if I fall over? What if I fall over? What if I have enough to stop? Stop half of the tan second of the day. I mean, that’s all part of it. But like, who cares?

No, no one’s watching that. Totally. Yeah. So… It’s true. Everyone’s just worried about themselves. Yeah. But it’s so hard when you’re in that headspace to think everyone must be looking at me and thinking I’m so crap. And then you start to realise it’s like, no, they’re all just worried about what’s going on with that. ” You can do it! Yeah. So I just went from like, and I saw the, you know, “Rump” and “J jogging for, you know, one minute and building up, building it up, moving it up. All the way to a half marathon.

Did it, bloody did it. I started in like, fair, but I was in the October, that was two years ago, I think, a lot. And I didn’t stop. That was my main thing. And I was like, I want to do it in another two and a half hours. And I did that. ” – Yes. ” – And you were okay. – I know. It means you can do anything. – Yeah. – And I always say this, fitness is a vessel or a tool for personal transformation. Like 100% it is. It’s a way to show you what you’re capable of. It’s something that you’ve, and you’ve found it more intimidating than most people.

But you’ve hated everything about exercise pretty much. Like everything. And I still remember that about you. And it’s like, but you’ve still made yourself do it and the Joy you’ve got an upfront moment and the resilience and the transfer ability to the rest of your life. Yeah, like the confidence. It’s given you every like psychiatrist or just whatever person I was spoken to They’re like and you exercising. Yeah, because that is a huge case huge in mental health and it’s just an outlet for like you can sweat it out, you can, you know, you can like it just empties your mind and also then the joy afterwards is really healing as well.

– In the pride. ” – Yes. – You know, you can try. It’s like I just think. – And doing it, like doing it and that’s the thing that I always try to teach people when I train them is it’s the result is irrelevant. It’s the effort. Yeah, and that’s the key with you as well. Like you will set a goal and they’ll be like, I didn’t get there. But you’re like, you tried, you were so close. And I said that for you, you may not be able to get any luck. I knew that if I did that you would try harder. So do I. Then what you thought you could.

I know and what is your role you did it the other night at the very end of the workout. Oh yeah. It’s like five. I think you’re like one fifty or something. No. Oh that’s so good. You knew it. That’s another thing I don’t even get it under two minutes of all. Yeah. – No, no, no… don’t even put themselves in that situation.

They just go withdraw. Yes. Yeah, and that’s what I used to do. Yeah, and I was so now I’m just like okay, I’ve got to try to see what happened. Yeah, and then when you actually do it, the greatest, you know, I can handle it and But yeah, P2 as well I think has been really instrumental for me because it just pushes you I have a gym in my building and I would go and walk for half an hour and not even raise sweat. Yeah, you’re like, do, do, do… I love the format that people now at Revo.

Have you lost so much weight? You look amazing. Your fitness is incredible. I love seeing the journey everyone’s going on. It’s inspiring. I’m not necessarily my best weight or anything but I certainly feel maybe my fittest and also my happier. – Yeah. – Because as I’m giving things a go. – Yeah. – And proudest. – For you guys all been achieving these little goals and– – And it’s really cool because I look at it as well at the path that you’re on now, like the direction you’re going. Like you’ve gotten really clear that you know that your story can help other people.

And I think that that is gonna be really exciting for us to watch because having the confidence to speak about this and showing other people that you can get through this and the tools that you’ve learned that maybe they can implement into their life, I think that you’re so valuable to us all. And I think it’s really exciting that you’re consciously on this path, like you’re choosing this. – Yes, I’m really, and that’s why, again, this is the moment where I’ve started and it’s interesting ’cause it’s 10 years on when I was at my worst.

And I could have done it earlier. – No, but I have done it. – No, the dust to settle. – Yeah, and I think it’s now really, again, I still have moments of these sort of anxiety and a bit of like weightiness in terms of like mental weakness or whatever but don’t get that mixed up in weakness. It’s sometimes when you’re a bit like totally totally I’m losing a little bit. I Yeah, I think that’s why Because I’m in this state where can identify it, I’m still aware of it, I’m still experiencing it so I can still relate to it.

– It’s relevant. – Yeah. – But that’s how people connect to, I completely think that that’s, you’re never, this is never gonna not be a part of your life. And you know that. And that’s, I think a really important way for you to connect with people you still got I guys I have this really it’s funny that I keep knocking it over it’s like a it’s an essential oil for focus I know I’m like addicted I bloody love it but I think that that’s what makes you relatable and that’s what makes people okay to speak to you about it and that’s what makes you still able to talk about it you’re never it’s never you’re never gonna be perfect and that’s okay.

– And I’ve learned how to live with it. So I think now that I have fully learned how to live a life with it. – Exactly. – How to make the best of things with it. And again, I really think it’s been a gift for me. I think it would be, I don’t know if it’s made, I know some people, suicide is so awful and you just never want people to get to that point. That you can work on a product that point and genuinely that can be your gift and your mission and enhance everything you do and learn self-awareness and strength like that you’ve never had before like what we were talking at the start of the show are because with my job working with home shenanigans they’re constantly putting me on the spot and they sent me to Samoa to I love that this is my master’s being survivor.

I love that the last few weeks I pretty much just talked about survivor. They called it princess survivor. Precious princess survivor because I’m known as being a bit nervous. And these were for the Australian survivor. Oh my god, this was my dream. I made the mistake of saying my worst nightmare would be being the bachelor. Not the bachelor. I’m not going to compete with 25 other people. I just want to be the sole girl. Totally. Don’t even get they had the opportunity with town 10 10 to send myself and a listen over to live like a survivor person for two days.

And so we’re on the beach next to they were filming the guys at the time. And we went through everything that we had no light, no shelter, no food, no nothing. Did you sleep at all? The beach, it was like barely. It was honestly the worst experience of the whole weekend. It was sort of good for me in terms of like, I don’t know why I can do anything but, jeez. It really was bad. We didn’t have any, yeah, because we couldn’t start a fire, we didn’t have any water that we could have any food. And then just building it and sleep.

There were huge crabs that were calling over you all night. And then I got bitten by a spider, so I got the next day my eye was closed over. And I had to repeat one of the challenges and we had to do an actual tribal council with Jonathan and Pahlia the hostel. That was for me the most confronting thing that I’ve done in a while because I’m and that’s why it’s so fun. I am a precious princess. I don’t like like we talked about spray tans. I like spray tans. I bring it all before I leave the suspense. Like a nude bonnet out, you know, like actually we’re out.

You know, it’s kind of fortune anyway. And there’s five thousand dollars prize money and which I I know I I wouldn’t like the crowd scrolling up me at night. Huge. I draw the line. And bang, I’m very glad. It’s part of the boggling line. Oh my god, I would not cope with that. Worst. Sorry. But even spoke to the guys because Lee casted on and… Yeah. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. Yes, Chris. Yeah. ” It wasn’t. Yeah. ” It was bad. Like, he looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion.

He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion.

He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion.

He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. He looked like a champion. Yeah Yeah, it’s intense. And I was there for two days. I know. I’m not alone fifty-five. It’s nuts. So, it genuinely was horrific. But, I mean, a position where I can do that stuff now and I’m not going to have a full-blown email. Exactly. And I’m just getting a good and happy place and surrounded by supportive work.

People are not going to break where the moment where I can beat myself and my bosses are awesome. And you can channel can channel your drive and passion now. Like as in it doesn’t debilitate you. You don’t turn it into overthinking and perfectionism and anxiety and panic. You channel it into something else. And I think that you are like, you’re right. Being in a supportive environment is one of the most important parts about it. We can talk about it. Yeah. Exactly. So I hope we can create this world. Yeah, absolutely.

Like if everybody could feel like that it would change so much. Yeah, just drawing someone and getting help. But yeah, and also in terms of specifically, exercises, I’m sure it’s been a few tell put out always be a few tailp moving, going for a walk even. Yeah, and I’m just going to continue to try and challenge myself with things. Yeah, hopefully you don’t get sent back to some offer. This next season of Avada. I genuinely would decline. Yeah, you’re like, I can’t go, but I have a friend. There’s challenging yourself, but then there’s doing things you know would break you.

Sometimes you’ve got to know your limits. Completely. But if anyone listens to these wants to talk to me about it, or talk about a friend that’s going through it and then I’ll talk to them all about it. ” Or who you should speak to or whatever. ” And I’m looking into that. I’m talking about it. – How come we get contact with you? – Speaking at schools and stuff. So in terms bokeh book and contact me, I don’t know. What’s your Instagram? Are you active on Instagram? Yeah, it’s I think it’s a lot as an ELI as a day. Or contact gang or come on face.

I’ll put it in the show notes too. Yeah. And you know, I’m at RepoPT. You come find me. But anyway, that’s my last tour. You’re the body graders. I have had the best I I think we are too. I usually put the microphone half way closer to my guest. It’s actually half way between us. I cannot thank you enough for this. I think that we really underestimate the courage it takes to talk truthfully about your life. And especially when it’s something you even use the word regret about different things in your life and I’m so happy that this part of your life it’s not something you regret because the like the courage to overcome it and to talk about it and to want to do something about it for somebody else is incredible and we can all learn something from that and I know that someone listening to this is going to change your life and I think that you should know that because I think that the direction that you’re going to take this in whatever capacity that is and what it looks like is so powerful.

Because I just want people to know that you can go on and do things and you can totally do great things. And the thing is what you’ve done and what you’ve demonstrated is that you can go on and do like I always look at you like I’m like oh my god you’ve got the greatest job in the world. And part of me thinks I have the greatest job in the world as well. But look at you. And it is. It’s so cool. And it’s like you weren’t just given that. Like you had to work from it and you had to work from the bottom and you had to come from not even an equal base to other people.

You just moved to your brand new and you just spent two years basically in home arrest. – Like self? – Yeah, implincted. – And I don’t think I would have got that job if I hadn’t been to what I’m doing. – I agree. – Because I just want to kept on like, you know, trading water, staying safe, and not taking any risk or chances. – Exactly. – And I know people probably look at me differently after that, but I think for the better. – No, good. ” – Oh my God, you never do, and we never ask. – That’s why I think it’s so important to be nice to everyone as well.

– I think nice to everyone. – Everyone. – Yes, just don’t be know you’re someone. Be the best person that you could be. No. And you have no idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe a little mess with me and be like, I’ll never forget that conversation. Exactly. ” And I was like, “Come on, I just can’t. This has to be a priority a priority for me. I have to keep pushing myself. I have to be surrounded by these types of people. It’s true. And just keep at it. It’s so true. And your health is everything. Yeah. Yeah. And all that all starts in your mind, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, thank you so much. No worries! It’s done. Thank you. Everybody’s so much listening. Really appreciate it. com/donate If you would like any more information Thank you so much for listening, we look forward to hearing from you. (upbeat music)