Hello and welcome to the Your Revolution podcast. The Your Revolution podcast is a collaboration between Revolution, Personal and Performance Training in Melbourne and the May Project. The purpose of the Your Revolution podcast is to inspire you on your mission of betterment. Each week on the podcast you’ll make game changes who have created extraordinary lives and you’ll listen to stories and lessons to empower you to make the changes necessary to your life. The Your Revolution podcast is committed to fitness, health, nutrition, mindset, community, education, empowerment and betterment and we hope that you can take what you learn here and apply it to your very own revolution.

her office and look at how fun it is. Look at how much cool stuff happens in here. Can’t you feel the creativity I’m like brimming with excitement just being in here. – Color makes me happy. – It’s the best. – Yeah, it is the best. I’m gonna now start working from here. So I hope you don’t mind. – We do have co-working, Daisy. – Stop it. – You be surprised. Oh my God, that’s the best. – I’m finding my friends and we sit here and co-work. – ‘Cause it can be us letting as you know when you’re doing your own doing your own thing.

Totally. I know my dog doesn’t have a lot to contribute when I’m working from home. But dogs are welcome. We do dog walks and that’s part of the plan. Oh my god, this is actually the best. We are going to have so much trouble staying on track today, but thank you so much for being on the podcast. I haven’t introduced you yet and I will do that. So this is Penny LaCasso and Penny I met two years ago at a Lula Lemon Pants party. And I remember standing talking to you and you told me about Beak Ingrid and I was like, “Who is this woman?

” And I remember that I was in a really transitional period of my life that was when I still owned my gym and I was really like this whole world that you were a part of and creating was very very very new to me and now I’m very much in a similar world but you are incredible and you are doing amazing things in the world and I really want to do on the podcast for a really long time and I’m excited that it’s happening now because you’re the very first on our strong women create strong communities which is Couldn’t be more appropriate that it’s you so thank you so much You’re probably the strongest woman that I know in lots of different ways and you’re creating so many other strong women and We just had a really cool conversation about something you’re about to go on doing his rail So that has to be on our gender today, but I really like you to give us a little bit of an intro on what you do and how you do it and where you’ve come from.

So what I do first of all is I’m on a mission to teach 1 million women by 2020 how to nail their happiness. And so the key word in that for me is teach because I’m not here to just take money from people and have them tied to me for the rest of their lives to help them, you know, to so that they keep coming back to me to get more. I figure that if I can teach people basic skills to be able to make any change in their life that’s going to make them happier there in their personal world or their professional world, those tools will serve them forever in any capacity of change.

But equally, it will help them then lead by example and help other women do the same because I think the onflow effects of people making positive change in their life, it’s like someone who loses weight. People are like, hey, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. So if I can teach people how to do this stuff, other people will see the change that these women make and how their lives are happier. And the on-flow effects of that mean that more people will be interested and that they may be able to pay it forward. And I think that’s powerful.

But equally, I also think to myself, what are the on-flow effects in terms of their families, their relationships, the communities that they’re in? So if they’re happier and they’re doing things that make them happier, it can only make the world happier, one moment at a time. So that’s what I kind of, that’s what I want to do. That’s my mission. Where have I come from? Okay. So three years ago, I was an executive in Shell working over in Perth in the oil and gas boom in probably what we would do to save as one of the most amazing jobs you can have.

And I basically turned my whole life on its head. So I left a 16 year career at probably the peak of my game. I left an 18 year relationship. I relocated a family from Perth back to Melbourne and I decided to start my own company. So the only thing that remained constant was my back then four year old son. And it was probably one of the scariest things that I ever did, but I can tell you now, three years on, it was the most, can I swear? Oh, absolutely. I set to explicit. It’s been the most fucking phenomenal thing that I’ve ever done in my life.

And I always say to people whilst I’ve never earned less money, I have never been more fulfilled and more happy in my work. And what’s fascinating to me is when you’re in that space, what you attract in terms of like people, like you were saying about moving into space. But equally, like you mentioned about Israel, the possibility that it’s open to you that you never even considered possible is phenomenal. And the absolute joy you get from seeing somebody live their life better because of you, which you get to see every single day.

It’s for every day and it’s just like man, seriously, don’t, you know, maybe don’t put this out there. But the secret is I do this shit for free. I like it. Making, there is this research that shows one of the greatest ways to make yourself happier is by helping others. And it’s true. 100%. Yeah. What inspired the change? It was. And so it’s interesting because I mean, I’m a change expert. I’ve worked in change for 20 years in large, you know, scale changing organizations. And now I leverage that learning to help people make change in bar-sized pieces.

And often when people want to make change, they have to be ready. And there often is a significant catalyst, you know, like someone might die in a family or someone might leave a relationship. For me, the other side of that is that sometimes there are a sequence of events and it’s like a gradual buildup. So it’s not one particular moment. For me, it was kind of a sequence of events that made me realize that the life I had, whilst I don’t begrudge it, I don’t regret anything that I’ve done in my life, it was no longer serving me.

And so what happened, it was probably over a period of maybe, I don’t know, maybe a year. I was constantly getting sick because I was working, like I’d set such an unhealthy normal for myself, I was so highly stressed, I was operating at 150%. I was meant to be working four days a week. I was working six days a week, taking on way too much, trying to be perfect in every aspect of my life. I was extremely, I was in like a business partnership in my relationship. So I still love my ex-husband or extremely great mates, but we weren’t in love with each other anymore.

And I was just ignoring that and it wasn’t making me happy. It was actually turning me into a grumpy old wench. And I didn’t like the person I’d become in that relationship because I’d become resentful, which was not his fault. It was my fault for not dealing with it. I started to see some things in the workplace that from a values perspective, I’d perhaps seen before and chosen to ignore, but they just didn’t sit right with me anymore. And then I got to the end of this two year assignment that I’ve been sent over to Perth to do.

And that was kind of like a defining moment because I got given a choice. And it was like, we want you to stay here permanently. You’re a female with high potential, great opportunities within Shell. Or, Shell, or I had the choice to go that time because they can’t make you stay. And I was 39 and some people talk about midlife process, I called them midlife awakening. And I was like, at 39, and if I don’t make some change now, I don’t know that I’ll ever do it. And I think that choice that came up, it was like, I’m going to go home.

And then there was a series of things that happened after that and it was kind of like well if you go home You risk being sold off to a Dutch training house because we’ve sold the business back in Melbourne Or you could be made redundant and I was like hello Yeah, yeah, and I was like and that for me was like, you know what take a freaking risk Yeah, you know and I think I’d kind of it’s not that I was risk averse But because the opportunity just always been there and always been tapped on the shoulder I’d never kind of taken any big risks in my risk.

Yeah. You know, and I think I’d kind of, it’s not that I was risk-averse, but because the opportunity just always been there, I know it’s been tapped on the shoulder. I’d never kind of taken any big risks in my life. And I said, you know what, I’m going to do what’s right for me for once, not what everyone expects of me. I’m going to go home. And that was kind of like a snowball effect. I got headhunter for a role at BHP Billiton, exec role, amazing opportunity. I got told a week before I landed back in Melbourne that I got the redundancy and I was like, this is gold.

I got back to Melbourne, the job at BHP, Billerton, fell through because I would have just got back on the corporate ban. And that job falling through, you know, they talk about sliding doors, which was the best freaking thing. So at the time I was like, shit, I didn’t expect that. You know, I got headhanded. I was one of two. I thought this was going to happen. ” And so you go from this absolute pinnacle of success in your own eyes and everybody else’s to nothing. And I realised that I had been truly defined by the job that I had lately.

So that was kind of like the sequence of events. And then as I say, all those changes that I made to turn my life on its head came out of the back of not getting that BHP job it was like well what do I want to do with my life and what does happiness look like for me and once I started to look like what it could look like in my career I was like far out I’m gonna fix everything there are so many things in my life that aren’t making me happy what makes me happy and how do I bring more of that into this space it’s amazing that that’s your reaction and I kind of in my head, uh, continue like a change expert and you’re just really, really good at it.

But isn’t it an amazing attitude that you had in relation to that? Cause most people would freak out cause the security is gone, but you kind of went, well my security is gone. What am I going to do? How am I going to create a life that is actually more secure that’s more aligned with my value use than what someone else to do it. And so what I did was I said, you know what, here’s a lump of money that I’m actually going to call my personal development fund and I’m going to give myself a couple of years to basically reset what the future looks like for me.

And I say to people, if you want to make change in your life, rather than sitting there and looking at all the barriers that you can create, how important this is to you and what you actually want to invest in yourself. Because you invest in yourself to. Because you can’t ask other people to give you money to do something if you’re not willing to put your own money in. Totally. And you’re in time in. And I think just so everybody knows I actually generally take notes when I catch up with Penny because she says so much good stuff.

I’m like, I need to take notes about this. I think that’s something that’s really interesting that you said to me last year was it does take time as well. We need to invest time in it. And so many people say, “I’ve got a dream. I want to be a business coach. I want to help people to be amazing. ” It’s like, no, it doesn’t work like that. It’s going to take you a few years to develop what you need to develop. And you use the example before of losing weight about somebody losing weight and everybody asks you about it and you’re teaching people and stuff.

It’s the same thing if you want something to be Permanent it’s kind of going to take a little bit of time. It’s not going to happen overnight But the thing is you don’t know what you don’t know Right and and when you start this journey in terms of making change in your life and I always say people come to me say I want to make change my career It’s never about your career. Yeah. You need to work out what makes you happy in your life. And I tell you the career will fall out of that as a vibe right now. But you know, you can’t expect this stuff to happen overnight.

Like I said to myself, it took me 20 years to get to where I was when I left Shell. Yeah. Yeah. And that was 20 years of freaking hard work. You know, I did a post grad degree. I traveled two weeks out of every fall for four years. I made sacrifices. But it’s like, this is a journey. It’s an evolution. And I say to people, I actually think that when you start to reset this stuff, it’s really around a two year mark before you start to get some traction. Real traction where you’re like, hey, this is, and I always say that the action breeds the clarity.

People sit there and go, I’m not going to start because I don’t have the perfect plan. Yes. There’s no fucking perfect plan. No, it’s not going to be a thousand paths for you that are equally joyous and bring you happy. And by sitting there waiting for the perfect plan, all you are doing is putting rigidity around the process and you are closing the doors on possibility. You just need to work out what makes you happy and what gives you energy and perhaps start exploring what makes you curious in life. So things that you’re interested in that you don’t know much about and start just taking really simple steps to move in a direction that feels right.

And don’t be afraid to change direction. Oh my god, I’ve spent $10,000 when I started and I said this all the time. I wasn’t doing what I was doing now. I spent $10,000 building an online collaboration platform for the small business owner to get better at the commercial and strategic side of business so that they could sustain and grow because that was one of the challenges that they had. And four months later, I kept getting emails and asking me to come and talk about my journey and how I’d reinvented myself and changed my whole life so quickly.

And also getting people emailing me, the ones that told me I was crazy when I left my email. Emailing me saying, “Can you help me? ” And I don’t know how. ” Yeah, totally totally. Yeah and so pivoting is powerful. Yeah and great. Yeah and it’s so yesterday you know like when I started this when I reinvented my purpose and sort of said what is my new vision it was about empowering 10,000 women to make positive change and find their happy by 2020. That number in the last 12 months has gone from 10,000 to yesterday I was like fuck this I’m going to a million.

Yes! I’m off to Israel again in this person. You’d be pretty close. I’m off to Israel get a lot of money. Why the hell not? Totally. And how are you doing this? This is something else. So I kind of think of you as change expert and also action. You’re the how. In everything. In changing. Whatever it needs to be done. You’re the how. And I really, really like that because there’s so many people in our space that sit on the why or the what and then everyone goes, but how do I do it? And then we’ll go, you just, it’s inside you.

You just got to feel it and you’re like, no, a big CD. So tell me, tell me how you do what you do. So my theory is that there is enough inspiration in the world. Jesus Christ, just get on post podcast. I think we were saying through Jesus Christ. No, you just get on one card. There are so many events in podcasts. There’s more than enough inspiration. We don’t need inspiration. It’s like, how do I turn that into something meaningful to me? So basically what I do is I break change down into bite sized pieces to reduce the overwhelm and just get people started because once they start they build momentum it’s like exercise.

I’m getting fitter I can do this. I can do it and it builds confidence and courage and it starts to build clarity. But how I do that is a couple of ways. So I do online programs. So this Thursday June 1st I’m opening the doors to the Naked for Change Academy. And the program, the starting is a foundational program called Naked for Change 101. And it’s the place to start when you don’t know where to start. Four weeks, really simple change in bite-sized pieces to kickstart any change you want in life or in work. So online programs is my way to reach people anywhere in the world.

And I’ve had clients on past programs from Dubai, from London that have found me, which is like amazing. So the second thing that I do is I run workshops. Often I run them in collaboration because I love collaboration with co-working spaces where we bring in people and teach them change really simply. Simply it can be around how to face fear and build the courage to make change or it can be really simple tactics to just step in to change or create greater happiness in your life. So I do online programs, I do workshops, I go into corporates.

Now one of the biggest challenges corporates have is staff engagement and I believe that if we can teach corporates how to listen to actually what makes people happy outside of work and look at how they can weave more of that into the workplace, they will be able to improve staff engagement and they’ll be able to attract better talent and they’ll be able to keep good people and create companies people love. There’s so many companies that people don’t have and don’t want to work for. And at the same time, not everyone will start their own business and nor should they.

It’s freaking hard work. We need good people creating change from the inside. And so I’m trying to tap into those people and help them make that change. So yeah, corporate workshops, online programs, and I do keynote speaking and a little bit of coaching on the side. I love the one-to-one coaching, but unfortunately it limits the reach and the impact that I can have, but it creates, I mean, that being friends with all my clients because I love these people. You know, you would find this in your work. Now by doing this work every day, I don’t have to put up with dickheads anymore.

No one, I’m never real people. I don’t like it. ” The people you were tracked are the people that you want to work to. It’s like working with your friends every frickin day. And new friends are knocking on your door every day. ” I know. And it’s the best. And we’ve worked together in the past. You’ve helped me a lot. And we’ve talked about how with one-on-one coaching, as much as you want to do it, also tight. And it’s like, you’re being, like, you’ve got this trip to Israel coming up. You’ve got Sam Fran. Like, you’re being sent all around the world.

Like, as much as you do want to work one-on-one. It’s almost the thing that can’t be at the top of your list anymore. But something I did learn from you long term and I think it’s interesting that the very first thing you talked about today was about teach and it’s the whole give a man a fish or a fish and it’s give a woman a fish. But it’s like something that I have never forgotten that you talked to me about was priority and everything started with priority and it’s Jane you get three priorities. And I was like, oh, but I have like 40 and you’re like, well, you can’t like that’s why you’re struggling and that’s why you’re running around like this.

And that’s why nothing’s getting done properly. And it was but one of the very first things you actually taught me and it’s what I always come back to and it’s every single day I get three priorities. And that’s it. And so if they help my health is one of my underlying priorities, that always sits there. So that means I get two priorities. Yeah. And one of those people that wants to take on every single project and say, yes to everybody and I can’t. I’ve got space for two every single day. And so, and that was a really important lesson that you taught me in the very, very beginning.

Something I want to talk about, because we’ve both touched on it and I want people to understand what it actually is. What is naked for change? – Oh. (laughs) – So I did something really freaking crazy.. We should have done this in our papers. I’m really glad we’re not. I got told I only need to do that once and then I can talk about it. Talk about why I did it and I’m like thank God I only need to do it once. So two months ago I was asked to speak at a professional conference for women wanting to level up their careers.

And so there was going to be 100 professional women in the room. 30 in the afternoon. It was a slot I’ve been given. I knew the other speakers at this conference and they were rock-style women and I knew they’d be at the top of their game. They’d be looking good. 30 in the afternoon? And my talk was on tactics for happy change. And I was like, I knew I always think about people only take one thing away when you talk, because people don’t, like, you’d be lucky if you have your three priorities. – Yeah. – It’s what’s the one message I want them to take away.

And it was that if you want to make happy change in your life, the one thing you need to do is learn to get comfortable and discomfort, because that is where the magic lies. – 100%. – You won’t have amazing things happen when you’re sitting there comfortable. – Yeah. – You’re all right. – Yeah. – And so I was like, well, how do I do better? 30 in the morning, when you obviously got this in the subconscious, came to me about three weeks out and it’s like, oh my God, I’m 41, I don’t have a perfect body, I’m not skinny.

There’s not a woman that I’ve met that doesn’t have body image issues. What woman wouldn’t be able to relate to how uncomfortable it would be for me to stand up there in front of all these take my dress off and deliver a keynote as a professional woman in my bathing suit. And I was like, this is gold. I’m so like, I’d be so nervous. And when I thought of it, I was like, you know what? Love me or hate me or why I’m mad that they won’t forget me. And they won’t forget the message. And so I was like, I’m going to do it.

And so once I was committed, I was committed. And people said, wouldn’t you know? And I was like, no, because I was going to do it. And at the end of the day, I think it was going to happen. That’s what I always say. What is the worst thing that could happen now? It’s like the worst thing. I think we’re going to laugh at me because no woman would laugh because everyone would know how uncomfortable. So I did it. And it was, I knew it would be interesting. I never expected how powerful it would be. So naked The Change was one of that moment.

So what happened was, the women in that room, I’ve done keynote speaking for years in front of audiences up to 500, the women in that room, I’ve never seen an audience shift like that. So when I took my dress off, the roar of applause was unbelievable. Immediately they wanted to listen to what I had to say, but what was profound at the end of it is it gave those women permission to Make change that they had been sitting on in their own lives for God knows how long because they looked at me and they were like if she can do that what I want to do is nowhere near as frickin frightening is that and therefore What am I waiting for and I had so many women came up to me and said that after me and I was like that for me was was enough, right?

So I left that room and I was like, that’s enough. I was like, this is a great moment. And I went home. And then my girlfriends that were there, it was some speakers said, you have to share this on social media. So I just put a post and said, today I freaking officially lost the plot. Because I’m in the corporate world, you wouldn’t do that. And I put it on, you know, social media and what was phenomenal for me was it went nuts on LinkedIn. And did it go to Huffington Post? It went to, not Huffington Post, it went to women’s agenda, it went to Smart Company and then the Daily Mail Australia.

You K-picked it up and then Conscious Magazine, which is a global magazine, picked it up as well. Amazing. And so it went viral on LinkedIn, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen viral. So I had over 41,000 views of my profile alone. So that doesn’t include how I don’t know how it was shared or anything like that. And the response was amazing. So the fact that we’re viral, I was like, Jesus, what does this mean? ” What I cared about was people loved it because they were like, there’s this desperation for the leaders being authentic and real, right?

So I mean, there’s this buzzword at the moment around authenticity, which is really excellent. – Which is really absolute shit, right? – Totally. – Because everyone talks about authenticity, but no one either is being authentic. – It’s being authentic. – This is exactly what I was, and is exactly what I was going to write authenticity and underline it. So I said, I was like, right, I’m going to write a blog on this, but I’m why I do what I did. And I said, vulnerability is the new authenticity. If you want to be authentic, put yourself out there and be vulnerable.

And actually do it. And this is what the other thing that I’ve just written down with you saying now is it doing versus saying and we are so desensitized to hearing do this You know we read all these motivational quotes everywhere which we all are but it’s like the message that you got across is because you made yourself uncomfortable and them seeing that makes them realize Why can’t I and the thing is like and I’ve always told you I think you’re hot and really beautiful, but you’re not like so perfect that no one can talk to you.

And I think that that was the part of the power of it. And it’s that you are up there and you are like, you know what, this is what I look like and I’m happy with it. And you all can be too with whatever it is you choose. And I think that that is, and the amazing thing about that is every single person walked out of the room and I can promise you, they went home did something different. They did the emails that I’ve got and I’ve put emails from all around the world since then from people I’ve never met saying I read your blog around naked for change and what you did and it shifted something for me.

I had a guy email me that I haven’t seen for six years that used to work with me at Shell. He said you have compelled me to go into work today and resign. Wow! ” Because that was what the whole message was about. He said, “Because I’m sitting here, I’ve been unhappy for so long. And at the end of the day, it’s not worth it because it’s impacting my family. ” And I was like, “This, so for me, that’s where the joy is. ” So the moment happened, it went nuts. ” And then again, I felt vulnerable because there was this whole expectation I put on myself.

It was like, “How do I make the most of this opportunity? This is crazy. ” And that’s where make of the change came from. ” He said, “This is just validation. ” And so that’s what I did. I spoke about why I did what I did and it resonated. And so now a lot of what I talk about, which has always been there is helping people to learn to get comfortable with discomfort, to find the magic in their lives. And that’s why I make it the Change Academy has now been born because again, it’s what I’ve always done, but it’s just repositioned to talk about how exposing yourself and being vulnerable is where it’s at.

Totally. Absolutely love it. And it’s funny that you say get comfortable in discomfort because one of the messages of Jim Joe is get comfortable being uncomfortable. And so it’s the training. Exactly. So it’s not getting fit around the show. Uncomfortable. Exactly. And it’s putting yourself in a vulnerable position and using that to create change. So I think it’s amazing. So what now has negative change led to? Oh my god So again at the start of the year if you had said to me what I end up doing now I wouldn’t say you’re freaking nuts and this is that you get a sentimental F shell for years ago that I’d be here I would have said get out of here So I’m hitting a mug 600 post it notes When I talk about the power possibility, the morning after I delivered that keynote, I woke up to an email in my inbox from a group in Israel.

So I had been in an application for what’s called Reality Women, which is a program that is fully funded by a couple of amazing Jewish billionaire New Yorkers who wanted to send 40 female entrepreneurs who were creating businesses that empower women to Israel for a full immersive cultural entrepreneurial experience. And so the next morning out of thousands of applicants, I had an email, I mean, my inbox telling me that I’ve been accepted to go out of thousands. So one of 40 from around the world and I think I might be the only one from Australia.

So I’m off to Israel in three weeks to be immersed in one of the most phenomenal entrepreneurial cultures in the world and connect with people doing amazing shit around the world. So I cannot tell you how excited I’m about that. But for me, like I’ve never been a big But I cannot tell you when you’re in this there’s this whole concept around quantum physics and I’m not a science person I know but I’ve come across this recently and it’s when you kind of get in this state of flow where it’s kind of like you you find what you want to do and you start doing it It’s like there’s this connection between being conscious and present Being in flow and having the energy because you’re being so fulfilled by what you’re doing.

Where there’s this beautiful synchronicity where all everything just kind of works together. And that’s what happens. It’s like how funny is that that happened the morning after I did that talk. So that’s happened. And then last week I’ve had San Francisco confirm. So I’m going to San Francisco to work with four unbelievably cool global brands. Some of which are the biggest fast growth companies in the world to do what I do with their women in San Francisco. So four different workshops with five different companies and who knows who will turn up and it’s amazing.

Yeah, that is so amazing. What message would you give somebody who is feeling like you felt when you were back in Perth before you were offered sort of you know that like before you came back here and were made redundant like you kind of know something’s not right in your life but you’re not even sure where to start. How do you and okay, so I’ll give you better. I’ll give you better. Yeah. My name is Jane. I work for a corporate company. I’m a, um, I’m a big executive. Okay. And I feel like my health is suffering. I don’t have to time with my kids.

Um, my relationship is suffering and I know that there’s something I need to change. I have absolutely nowhere, no idea where to start. ” – So the first thing I would say to you is the reason you have no idea is because you’ve never created the space to think about what matters to you and brings you energy and happiness in your life. So the first thing I say to these women is how much time is your happiness worth? So is it an hour a week? Is it two hours a week? Work out how much time you’re willing to invest in this, but it’s like a job.

You need to treat it like a job because otherwise you won’t make it happen. And then I say, find the time in your diary and schedule it like I’m preparing meeting every week. Don’t do it at the end of a busy day at nine o’clock at night because you won’t be at your most effective. You want to do it when you’re at your highest energy so either early in the morning or on the weekends when you’ve got clear headspace. So the first thing I say is create the space. The second thing that I would say is once you’ve created the space you want to work out what you’re going to do with it.

And I encourage people to create what I call a curiosity list. And I keep this in the back of my notebook because I still have a curiosity list. I mean, there’s still heaps of things that I’m interested in. And so start writing down all the things that you are curious about, that you’d like to know more about, but you probably don’t know a lot about. That’s interesting. And so what happens is that we’re so busy in our day to day that we don’t open the door, as I say, to possibility or any, not a lot of new stuff. Yeah, curiosity is a great way to do that.

And then I say, once you’ve written your curiosity list, just sit there for half an hour, write all the things you’re curious about until nothing more comes. Yeah. And then I want you to go and say, what’s the one thing that’s jumps off that page? Just one. So you do that priorities. Yeah. Pick one thing. Yeah. And you’ve got that time carved out. Use that time to just start exploring what you’re curious about. Yeah. Yeah. And then the second thing. So you’ve got time. You’ve got a curiosity list. And then the second thing, I’m sorry, the third thing I would say to you is once you start exploring, start looking at what’s going on.

Is there anything in meetups around your curiosity? So can you attend some meetups where you can meet people that are in this space? Can you look at things like you know what general assembly offers or co-working spaces or God knows one and whiteboards, which is what I offer? You know, so what’s going on in the local community where you can connect with people that are in the action. And this is about taking really simple steps to start to move you in a direction that gives you energy. And like I said, there’s a whole host of other actions, but that is a place to start that starts to fill you up and get you excited about possibility rather than sitting there having you overwhelmed by the thousand actions that you need to take in the next 12 months to make change.

Don’t look at that. Look at what you can do right here right now. No more than three actions that could just start you stepping forward. I absolutely love it. This is so good. I’m like actually taking notes for my life. ” It’s not even about the podcast. It’s about my life. It’s about bloody love it. I want to know, we’ve talked about it heaps and you’re very clear on what your intention is and what your goals are and stuff. But what do you feel, I’ve got two questions here. What is the most important thing to you in your life?

And then what is your purpose in life? Yeah. So the most important thing to me in my life is my almost seven year old son. And if there’s one thing that has become a very, one thing that drives me throughout all of this that comes back to my purpose is I can’t tell him what to do. I can only show him by example. And so the life that I lived before, when I started to make all this change, it was like, what example do I want to show my son in terms of what’s possible in his life? Because he’ll watch me as a role model.

And so my purpose, I knew when I started that I wanted to have more meaning in my work, I knew I wanted to have a positive impact on the lives of others and I knew that I wanted to be a decent role model for my son. That they were only three things I knew when I started this journey and they have remained true to everything that I do in terms of my purpose. So for him what I wanted to show him in terms of you know the purpose base I wanted to be the most present and engaged parent that I could be but in order order to do that, I needed to show him what was possible as well.

So for possible, it was about showing him that you could create, you can create a life that makes you happy, but the end of the day, the choice is yours, not anyone else’s. And if you sit there expecting someone else to bring it to, it’ll never. I wanted to show him that you can create a sustainable business by having a positive impact on the lives of others. You don’t need to rip people off, rape a pillage or you know be an asshole to be successful. I wanted to show him that by being curious and spontaneous and putting yourself out there and getting comfortable with discomfort, that you open the doors to possibility.

And it’s interesting because every night when we have dinner, we talk about one great thing that happened during our day, one thing that wasn’t so great and one risk that we talk. So every night, that’s what we do the two of us. And then when we go to to bed We meditate because I like to teach you presence. Yeah, great. So so my purpose is around showing him What’s possible in life in terms of leading a happy life? All I want for him is to be a respectful person Someone and someone who is happy in life and not a bum.

Mm-hmm. I think my three require anything else a bonus. And then my purpose in my work is really as I say, is around teaching women, but I also work with men here. I work with a lot of men who have great success. But I just focus on women because, you know, that it seems to be a lot of women interested in personal development. But my purpose is to basically teach women how to be able to make simple and sustainable change in their own lives so that they can find the happiness that I have. Because I know once you find it, I don’t sit here worrying about the next 10 years or the next 20 years.

I sit here enjoying now. And to get to, it took me to nearly 40 years old to be able to do that. And I’m like, I’m working with girls that are like 28 years old now. ” You’re like a baby. ” But yeah, it’s never too late. I mean, I mean, a lot of people in their 40s that think it is too late. Yeah. It’s like, “Far out. ” Yeah? You’ve got so much value to offer. Now is your time. And there’s research that shows that some of the most successful entrepreneurs come into their own in their 40s. So it’s people that leave the old and start to get into the space in their 40s because the foundation that they created in terms of life experience, the networks that they’ve got, set them up solidly to be able to launch into this space.

Never to like. Never ever. Not even close. I have one last question for you. I remember if you, at the start of last year, I want to you do the talk. I’m like a king of x beach. I’m like, well, I will explain it at that little they would have been. Oh, yeah. I’m on at Abbotsford, Tullman. Yeah. And I remember you made this doing activity and it was 12 months from now. And I still remember the words you said 12 months from now. You’re sitting there. You’ve got a glass of wine and you, what does your life look like? What does it feel like?

You’re celebrating your happiness. What does the happiness look like for you? 12 months from now, you’re celebrating your happiness. What does the happiness look like for you? Oh man. I know. It’s just such a good question. No one’s ever asked me. How many times did I ask that? I’m going to say something. Oh my God. I don leave you. I was really, really low. I know. I never so funny at the start. I spoke as everybody should know that we discussed the fact that I didn’t have didn’t send you any questions or anything.

I just wanted to free flow and we wanted to see where it went to and no joke about five minutes ago. I just went ding in my head. So I’m sorry to just bring it on you. So happiness for me in 12 months time, to be honest, is not that dissimilar to what I have now. Realistically, the only thing that I would want to shift more is that I can have far greater reach with my work. So I’ve always had’ve always had this concept of the other thing that I knew that I wanted was, I wanted to be a digital nomad. So I have this strong desire to be able to work from anywhere in the world, take my son with me so that I can immerse him in new cultural experiences and show him what I want to show him.

But I want to be able to work from anywhere in the world. I want to immerse myself in the communities in those spaces and I want to be able to positively impact them but equally learn from them in terms of the diversity that they bring to the world. So for me in 12 months time it would just mean more exposure to more diverse communities and impact on a far greater scale than what I’m having now around the globe. But in terms of my personal life, I wouldn’t change anything. I totally love my time with my son and I’m totally invested when I’m with him.

I have an amazing boyfriend who has totally surprised me. And again, you get back what you give out. I love where I live. I don’t think that I would change much. What an incredible experience to feel that. Like isn’t that amazing? I’m content. I’m fully content and that’s interesting. When you are content in your life, how that again enables you to be more present and in the moment and the more present you are, the more you, the more energy you get because you’re actually listening to people totally. And learning, far out, that’s the other thing, you even know this from your clients, right?

People will come to you because they think you, and I don’t want to sound like a wanker because I’m saying, they think you’re this guru, you know, because they’re coming to you and paying you for a service. But I kind of sometimes feel like maybe I’m cheating because every client I work with, every online program I deliver, every workshop I do, every keynote, I learn so much out of it. I learn as much as the people receiving information. It’s just in a different way. And that’s why I’m constantly, you would find this again.

You’re constantly refining things because it’s like far out that exactly. How do I weave that into what – Totally. – And I think that’s the most interesting thing, and I just wrote this down, is that your contentment doesn’t prevent growth. And I think the interesting thing with so many people, their definition of content is staying the same. And your definition of content is every single day, learning and growing and getting better. So it’s like, what you want for your life in 12 months time is what you’ve got now, 10xed.

– Absolutely. -‘re on the side with the right path. And that’s I think they’re interesting. That’s one of the most exciting lessons from this conversation for people is it’s like you don’t have to flip everything upside down to get uncomfortable. You just have to keep growing in your way. – Correct. And I always say this will change as compromise. And so people come to me and they have the same expectations of life that they have now that’s making them unhappy in the life that they want to move to that’s going to make them happy.

And so one thing I talk about, so we spoke early about financial stability is I’ve been taking a salary for nearly two years, longer. That’s been a choice. And I’m totally comfortable with that choice because I choose to reinvest everything that I earn into my company because I know like you saying about building and reinventing yourself, it’s going to take me a good three years to build my brand and become known to people for what I do. And that’s a choice. And so I think that you need to basically let go of expectation when you’re in this space because expectation will not serve you.

Because often what’s unconventional is what’s going to serve you nice and you know it’s okay it’s totally okay but expectation will kill you as we’ll be perfect plan totally and not being able to fail like failing and making mistakes is like I know I’m like I’m like I’m a failing I share it all the time like a badge of honor and’s like, I’ve been in contact with the guys from General Assembly and I’m like, ’cause they’ve asked me a couple of times and it has a work to speak at fuck up nights. And I’m like, please, when can I talk about fuck up nights?

I’m gonna talk about the stuff because there is, like I always say, make failure, friend. Failure is, you look at the most successful people in the world. The reason they’re successful is because they’ve been willing to fail totally And they have failed basically the only difference is that one, they’re willing to fail and they have stepped into failure a hundred thousand times more than the average person. It’s not that they’re any better. It’s just that they’re appetite for risk and learning from failure is so much greater.

Totally. And it feels resilient. I mean how again resilience sorry you get me so worked up but I know this is great resilience is one of the most lacking skill sets in our society today and resilience is what helps people grow from a personal perspective and so one of the programs I run is all about teaching people how to face fear and use it as a positive lever for change rather than looking at it as a barrier because it doesn’t have to be. And I fundamentally think that if we can make society and teach society how to practice resilience more often, that more people could be happy and there will be less anxiety.

There’s a concept called bicro bravery, which is all around getting comfortable with discomfort, but doing really small things that make you feel uncomfortable. It might be talking to a stranger at a networking there, really small things. And that’s how by doing that sort of stuff, we get more comfortable with being uncomfortable and we step into greater vulnerability and greater bravery, which starts to build this cycle of getting comfortable with this discomfort and then starting to move into really positive change for ourselves.

I love it and I love that you’re raising a little man with all of this. It’s amazing because I think that something I speak to a lot of women about is they find it really difficult to live their life and be an amazing mum. And a lot of women think that once their baby is born that that’s it. Like they have to just be there 100% to them. And I think that one of the greatest lessons that Saxon has every single day is watching you do you in such a great way. And it’s the whole thing of saying and doing and the whole thing of making for change is like you standing up there and doing what you’re asking everybody else to do in a different way is how people actually learn and that’s how children actually learn.

And I think that I know that my mum was, she was amazing. She was like an occupational therapist. She was studying arts when she was pregnant with my sister, like doing all these different things and had her life. And I remember we all, she loves spending time with us, but we all kind of jumped in on with her and we her life was what we learned from it wasn’t just that she gave that up for us yeah balance is such an important way to parent oh my god and it’s interesting because when we recently did the live filming of the f-bomb show we the whole one of the topics that came up was around mothers in business and it’s been fascinating fascinating for me because I have a very unconventional.

So I had this idea of what the perfect mother looked like when I started out and I had to let go of it because it almost killed me. Because I was trying to be so perfect in every aspect of my life that it was fricking exhausting. Yeah. And so now for me, and the reason I do what I do in terms of my work, my work gives me absolute flexibility. I take Saxon with me on a lot of business trips and I take him out of school and you know people might look at me I mean he’s in grade one I don’t think it’s gonna kill his mind and it’s like hey look at the experiences this kid’s going to go away I take him as a child.

I don’t give a fuck because I am trying to teach this kid about life not about one plus one he can learn totally So I’m conventional parenting for me has served me so well. I do things for a take him out of school, you know, I God we do so many things and you actually engage with him and this is something we’ve talked about before in the past It’s not that you’re just spending time together when you spend time with him. It’s quality time when we’ve talked about that in the past like part part-time parent yeah so I’m separated from my ex-husband who equally as I said I’m best friends with and we basically part-time parenting is unbelievable because I do all the shit stuff when he’s not with me and I basically hammer away at my business and do a lot of that stuff so when I’m with him I’m with him you know I go and I do reading once a week at school and he’s like it’s like a celebrity’s in the room because they just want you to show up and do touch shop last Friday at 12, 15 in the middle of the day.

Yeah, I can do all of this stuff and to be honest, that’s the stuff that matters and my work gives me the ability to do that but equally to take him on these unique experiences and be immersed and see what I do and I’m fine with it, you know. I love it. There’s one message, sorry I just keep going, we’ve had the last question six times. There’s one message you’d like people to take from today, what would you like it to be? Can I have three? – Yeah you can have as many as you like. – Cause you know I like to chop on Friday.

– I like to raise, read. If you have three messages you could have people take away from today what were they? So in the words of Lewis Howes I’ll go on three truths. I love these three truths. So the first truth is there is no perfect plan when you want to make change in your life. So if you’re looking for that you’ll never make change, let it go. The second thing is that the action breeds the clarity. Yeah, so you need to trust that the journey will unfold. You will not have all the answers because you don’t know what you don’t know and there’s probably something really freaking exciting out there for you.

You need to open the door for possibility and the only way to do that is to just start doing something, one simple action that feels right. So let the action breed the clarity, love it, because it will. So we said, what do we say? Action beats the clarity. No perfect plan. Get comfortable discomfort. Yeah. When you are uncomfortable, that is where the good stuff is happening. Yeah. And even if it’s just little, like I said, little tiny things that make you feel uncomfortable, like going to a new gym, going to a working gym.

All. – Perfect. – That is, starting to practice getting comfortable with discomfort is a great way to do it. The 100 Nodes is a brilliant way to get comfortable with discomfort. So I came across this beautiful idea, which is basically, we can show it at the end. – Yes, I’m like, should I turn the camera around to it now? – Go for it. – And I’ll shut up after this this. No, I want to keep going. So people on social media love these. So basically what it is is it’s getting after 100 no’s. If you want to build resilience, basically put 100 no’s on your wall like that.

And what you want to do, your objective is to go out there and ask for what you want from anyone. It can be work related. It can be career related, it can be in your life. Start asking for what you want, whether it’s a collaboration, it’s a connection, whatever. And your goal is to get 100 nos and every time you get a nos celebrate. Now here’s the funny thing, right? What happens is you start to realize that you actually get a lot of uses. Because we’re so focused on the shit things that happen and while I’m in that, then focusing on the positive things.

So I put that up two weeks ago. I’ve had four major yeses in the last two weeks. So you have no no. I have not had one. And do you know how many people on social media have seen this and said to me, oh my god, I’ve started doing this. And I’m so excited about getting a no. So it’s just what you think is a negative and you sit there and wall on it and you actually like, I want to get a hundred no’s and the reality is you probably won’t get to the hundred because by the time you do I thought I’m going to start sticking my yeses down the bottom.

You’re going to realize it’s going to be yeses all the way around the outside. I love it. This is so interesting because that’s, did you, you came up with this? No, no. So a friend of mine told me about it and said it was a movement that started in the US and I got online and did some research and yeah, it’s called, it’s called a hundred no’s. I absolutely love it because there’s definitely ways like what I’m learning my current lesson the last month is if you don’t ask you won’t get it. Like it’s like and that’s one of the interesting things with what I’m doing right now.

I’m constantly putting myself out there and asking for it. And the worst that can happen is that I know you’re playing. – You know someone else. ” I’m like terrified. Now it’s like every single day. And it’s just, it’s such an interesting thing ’cause it’s like now, I don’t know whether it’s energetically or whether it’s just that what’s happening, but you’re getting all the answers. So, confidence. – So, courage and resilience. That’s what, that simple exercise. Three things that will serve you in any change. Confidence, courage and resilience.

And that’s a brilliant way to do it. We’re going to need to do a 10-part podcast with you. Because you and I just don’t like shut up. You know, like everything you’ve said is so good. It’s a big thing. Because it’s about action. I just want people to take action because action, like I say, is where the clarity is, and action gives people momentum and it builds the confidence to say, “You know what? ” And the most interesting thing is with people is so many people love writing their goals down, but then don’t do anything about it.

I don’t actually do a lot of goals anymore. I don’t. Like you say, through you, I just say, “Okay, where do I want to head in terms of what’s my purpose? That’s my North Star. Totally. Yeah. That’s kind of all the clarity I need now. And I would trust me, I used to be a freaking, you know, project planner with a million light items. And then I say, what are the three priorities that I’m going to focus on right now? Yeah. And that’s exactly it. ” And it becomes noise and it’s distracting. There’s a way to deal with that that I found that’s beautiful.

Have you three priorities? Create a parking lot. Yes. Create a parking lot. Opportunities will always be there, right? And so what you do is like your curiosity list. Add to it. So every time something amazing comes up, you say, “Thanks very much. ” Yeah? And you add this stuff to your parking lot. If you have a great idea, add it to the parking lot. And when you tick off your three priorities, go back to your parking lot. All the fun things you want to do right there, just pick off the next three. And then you don’t lose them.

And the thing is, because often you say yes, because not because you want to do it right now, feel like you’re gonna lose it for the opportunity you might be there. It will still be there for the best. You’re amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you everyone for listening. Thanks for coming to me. (upbeat music)